Social-emotional learning activities for kids & teens

Social-emotional skills are needed more and more in this ever-evolving, post-pandemic, digital-focused world. Why? Because people with well-developed social-emotional skills have a strong EQ (or emotional intelligence) – read more about this here. These skills provide a foundation of resilience, self-awareness, relationship skills, empathy, impulse control, and more for your child to successfully navigate through life and their future.

Luckily, this is something you can help develop in your child from a young age and well into young adulthood. Because no child is born knowing how to deal with their emotions (and few of us adults have mastered the skill either). Incorporating social-emotional learning (SEL) at any stage of your child’s life helps them cope with the emotional and mental challenges of daily life. What’s more, research has found that SEL has a positive effect on academic achievement.

Luckily, there are many SEL activities that kids, and teens alike will enjoy while flexing these must-have skills.

Social-emotional activities to try at home

1. Practice mindfulness as a family

Staying present and in the moment is a useful skill to call on in high-pressure situations. It also helps to ground you, regulate emotions, and focus on what’s really important in life. Look into doing yoga as a family – there are many tutorials online and many classes available in South Africa’s cities.

Breathing techniques are also practical mindfulness tools that reduce anxiety, improve blood flow, and regulate the body and emotions. And you can help even young children master this. Ask your child to lie down on their back and place a teddy bear on their belly. Then ask them to focus on how the bear moves up and down as they breathe in and out – a simple way to encourage belly breathing.

For tweens and teens, get them to place one hand on their stomach area and another on their chest. Then they must breathe in for four counts, hold the breath for two counts, and breathe out over six counts. As they do this, they must bring their focus towards connecting with their breathing. They can focus on how the stomach and chest moves as they inhale and exhale.

After the breathing exercise, ask them to describe how they are feeling, whether they felt any challenges or changing physical sensations (for example, I had a lump in my throat that eased while I breathed, or I felt how tense my shoulders were because they dropped when I started counting my breaths). The goal is to encourage a body-mind connection, where your child understands how their bodies experience their feelings, and that their emotions are not to be feared.

1. Read together

Books are a wonderful way to explore just about anything, and they help illustrate SEL to a child while fostering EQ. Browse your bookstore or e-book platform to find reads that you and your child can enjoy together – encourage your child to speak about what’s happening in the book, to ask questions, and to talk through how they would apply the same scenarios to their lives.

There are also great YA books that encourage SEL, so leave one or two on your tween or teen’s nightstand. Maybe give them a read beforehand so that you can chat to your child about the book, the characters, and the story. Kind of like a social-emotional book club.

2. Art is expression

Sometimes the best way to work through difficult feelings and situations isn’t to talk them through, but to express them through an art form. Teens are especially reluctant to share problems with their parents, so encourage them to find a way to release stress and anxiety through artistic expression. This could be anything from painting, sculpture, dance, or music. They could even just dance around their room to the favourite song – the goal is to give intense emotions a physical outlet.

3. Fill the family’s buckets

Everyone loves a compliment! So, make it a ritual behaviour in your family by creating a ‘bucket’ for each family member (this doesn’t have to be a bucket – use little jars, or special tins, or envelopes, anything that will contain paper notes). Then, each family member needs to add a note of appreciation to these buckets once a week, filling the “buckets” with positivity. This encourages gratitude, compassion and empathy while providing positive recognition for everyone’s efforts and contributions.

4. Write a story

This isn’t just any story – it’s a story you write together, as each member of the family (or each sibling, or parent and child) contributes a line to it. Start off by writing a story prompt down, like, “Once upon a time,” or, “Yesterday, something happened.” The first person in the group needs to write down a sentence of the story on the paper, and then pass it to the next person to have them add their sentence. This sequence can go on for a set period, or until the story is finished. However, you don’t read the full story until this point.

When the story is read aloud, encourage a discussion on it. Ask the writers what the best part of the story was, what the saddest or scariest part was, and how the story made you feel. This exercise gets everyone working towards a common goal and taking joy in working as a team.

5. Start a gratitude journal

Tweens and teens appreciate having their own special secrets, and a journal is a good place for them to express their thoughts and feelings. Encourage your child to decorate a journal or book that you provide in any way they want – give them the stickers, pens, khokis, or materials they’ll need to make it their own.

Then encourage your child to make a habit of writing in this journal every day. Of course, they can comment on issues or difficulties they’re facing, but the absolute one requirement they have to do is write down one thing that they are grateful for every day. This usually starts with, “I got an A on my science test,” or, “I’m so grateful I have my phone,” but soon moves on to discovering a deeper and more nuanced appreciation of their lives and experiences.

Journaling has also been proven to improve communication skills, reduce stress and anxiety, and keeps track of goals as they can reflect on their progress and growth over a period of time.