Blog Post

Guide to Parenting a Strong-Willed Child

Neo Moshoeu • October 18, 2024

Parenting a strong-willed child can be a rewarding yet challenging experience. These children often display a sense of determination, independence, and a desire to assert their ideas. While this personality can be a great asset, it also means that parenting requires patience, understanding, and clear guidance. In this blog, we will explore what it means to have a strong-willed child, how to distinguish between strong will and stubbornness, and offer practical tips for effective parenting.


What is a Strong-Willed Child?


A strong-willed child is one who is driven by an innate sense of self-direction and confidence (Greene, 2020). They are often known for their persistence, determination, and eagerness to make their own decisions. They tend to be opinionated and may push boundaries to see how far they can go. These traits can be positive when channelled appropriately, but they can also present challenges in a structured environment like home or school.


Identifying a Strong-Willed Child vs a Stubborn Child


It is important to understand the difference between a strong-willed child and one who is simply being stubborn. While both may exhibit resistance, there are subtle differences in their motivations and behaviours:


  • Strong-Willed Children – they tend to have a clear reason behind their actions. They may resist being told what to do because they want to understand the logic behind it or explore a different approach. They often have a strong sense of justice and want to negotiate rather than just accept instructions (Greene, 2020).
  • Stubborn Children – stubborn child might resist change for the sake of resistance, without necessarily having a clear rationale behind their behaviour. Stubbornness often comes from a reluctance to accept new ideas or perspectives, whereas a strong-willed child may be more open to change if it aligns with their own understanding.


Tips for Parenting a Strong-Willed Child


Parenting a strong-willed child requires a balance of firmness and flexibility. Here are some strategies to help:


1. Provide Clear Boundaries and Consistency


Strong-willed children respond well to structure and consistency. Clearly define rules and expectations and ensure that these are applied consistently. While they may push against these boundaries, knowing what is expected can give them a sense of security. Be clear about the consequences of not following rules, but avoid overly harsh discipline, which can backfire with these independent thinkers (Smith & Johnson, 2021).


2. Offer Choices Rather Than Commands


Strong-willed children appreciate having a sense of control over their lives. Instead of issuing directives, provide them with choices. For example, instead of saying, “Put on your jacket,” try, “Would you like to wear the blue jacket or the red one?” This way, they feel they have some input while still adhering to your guidelines.


3. Listen Actively to Their Opinions


These children want their voices to be heard. Taking the time to listen to their perspective can help them feel valued and respected. It does not mean you need to agree with them, but acknowledging their viewpoint can reduce resistance. After listening, you can explain your reasoning calmly, helping them understand the bigger picture.


4. Be Patient and Empathetic


Strong-willed children often experience emotions intensely. Practicing patience and empathy can help during difficult moments. When they express frustration or anger, try to understand what is driving those feelings rather than reacting immediately. Reflecting back what they are feeling (“I see you’re upset because…”) can help them feel understood and more open to dialogue.


5. Encourage Independence While Setting Limits


Allow your strong-willed child opportunities to be independent and take on responsibilities, whether it is choosing their outfit or helping with small tasks around the house. This can channel their desire for control into positive actions. At the same time, set limits to ensure they understand that their independence does not mean a lack of accountability.


6. Model Calmness During Conflicts


Strong-willed children often mirror the behaviour they see. Staying calm during disagreements sets a good example of how to manage conflicts. When tempers flare, take a deep breath and speak in a steady tone. This not only helps diffuse tension but also shows your child how to handle stress without escalating emotions (Smith & Johnson, 2021).


7. Celebrate Their Strengths


Strong-willed children often grow up to be leaders, innovators, and change-makers. While their determination can be challenging during their younger years, it is also a strength worth nurturing. Focus on their positive qualities, such as their persistence and creativity, and encourage them to use these traits in constructive ways.


Parenting a strong-willed child comes with its unique set of challenges, but it can also be a deeply enriching journey. Understanding their need for autonomy and respecting their perspective can help create a more cooperative and peaceful home environment. By setting clear boundaries, offering choices, and embracing their individuality, you can help your child develop the skills they need to thrive in the world, while maintaining a strong and positive relationship.



February 7, 2025
A Guide for First-Time School Parents With the first term of the year now well underway, families with school-going children are settling into routines. For many, this includes preparing little ones for their very first day of school, a milestone that brings excitement and perhaps a touch of nervousness. Starting school is a significant chapter not only for children but also for parents who are navigating this journey for the first time. From choosing the right school to managing separation anxiety and building new routines, the experience can feel both rewarding and daunting. This guide is designed to provide practical points and reassurance, helping first-time school parents make the most of this transformative time. Preparing for the First Day of School Preparation is key to ensuring a smooth start to the school year. Begin by establishing a routine that aligns with the school schedule a few weeks before the term begins. This includes waking up at the same time, practising getting ready, and having breakfast together. Shopping for school stationery is another important task. Involve your child in picking out their school bag, stationery, and uniform. This can help create a sense of excitement and ownership over the process. Familiarise your child with the school environment before their first day. Many schools offer orientation sessions or open days. If this is an option, make sure to attend. Walking around the campus and meeting some of the staff can help reduce first-day nerves (Department of Basic Education, 2023). Choosing the Right School Selecting a school is one of the most crucial decisions parents make. Factors to consider include the school’s curriculum, location, fees, and extracurricular offerings. Visit the schools you’re considering to observe the environment and meet the teaching staff. Talk to other parents in your community for recommendations. Their experiences can provide valuable insights into a school’s strengths and areas for improvement. Remember to involve your child in the decision-making process, especially if they are old enough to articulate their preferences. Understanding School Communication Channels Effective communication is essential for staying informed about your child’s progress and school activities. Familiarise yourself with the school’s communication tools, whether they use newsletters, emails, or dedicated apps. For example, Crawford International uses the Toddle platform to facilitate seamless communication between parents and teachers. Parents can instantly share concerns, track academic progress, or even discuss issues requiring immediate attention. Open communication ensures you remain an active participant in your child’s education. Helping Your Child Adjust The transition to school can be challenging, especially for younger children. Encourage open conversations about their feelings and reassure them that it’s normal to feel a mix of emotions. Reading books about starting school or sharing your own positive school memories can help your child develop a more optimistic outlook. Gradually increase their independence at home by assigning small tasks, such as packing their school bag or setting the table. If possible, arrange playdates with classmates before school starts. Building friendships early on can ease the transition and give your child familiar faces to look forward to seeing. Balancing Schoolwork and After-School Activities While academics are important, extracurricular programmes offer children a chance to explore their interests and develop new skills. Whether it’s sports, music, or coding classes, these activities provide a well-rounded experience. However, it’s crucial to strike a balance. Overscheduling can lead to fatigue and stress. Aim for a manageable routine that allows your child to enjoy after-school activities without compromising on homework or relaxation time. Create a weekly calendar to plan your child’s schedule. This not only helps with time management but also ensures you can monitor their workload and adjust when necessary. Building a Homework Routine Homework can become a source of stress if not managed well. Establish a designated homework area in your home that is quiet and free from distractions. Set a consistent time for homework each day, and ensure all necessary supplies are easily accessible. While it’s important to supervise, avoid completing tasks for your child. Instead, offer guidance and encourage problem-solving. Praise their efforts rather than just the outcomes to build confidence and resilience. Getting Involved in the School Community Active participation in the school community strengthens your connection with the institution and provides opportunities to support your child’s education. Attend parent-teacher meetings, volunteer for school events, or join the parent association if one exists. Engaging with other parents can also create a support network where you can share advice and experiences. Schools often host social events or workshops, which are great for meeting other families and feeling more integrated into the community. The journey of sending your child to school for the first time is filled with opportunities for growth for both you and your child. With thoughtful preparation and open communication, the transition can be a positive and enriching experience. Remember, the first step is often the hardest, but it also sets the foundation for a lifelong love of learning.
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