Blog Post

How to Teach and Enhance a Child's Emotional Intelligence

ADvTECH Group • February 25, 2022

EQ 101: Teaching Your Child Emotional Intelligence

A poster that says how to teach a child 's emotional intelligence

Picture this: Your young child is building a puzzle. He’s been getting it right until he runs into a bit of trouble – one piece just doesn’t fit at all. He gives up and throws the puzzle piece on the floor!


Teaching your child patience, empathy, emotional resilience, problem-solving, and healthy coping mechanisms will help your child develop emotional awareness - improving their emotional intelligence, and equipping them with lifelong skills to succeed in a world of daily challenges.


While this stress response might not seem like a big deal, it shows emotional intelligence, also known as EQ. While this type of intelligence doesn’t reflect a child’s IQ, it does reflect a person’s ability to express and manage their feelings, work through challenges and respond to situations effectively. Developing emotional intelligence also helps a child make positive connections and build healthy relationships with others.


Recent studies show that EQ is a lifelong asset – people with high emotional intelligence enjoy better relationships, as conflict is managed healthily; and they are less likely to experience depression and mental health challenges.


Luckily, all children can develop EQ, you just have to show them how it works. So, how can children's emotional intelligence be enhanced?


Learn about how Crawford International's holistic approach to education encourages students to become fully rounded individuals here.


1. Talk About Emotions


Before a child can work through any difficult feelings, they need to be able to recognise how they’re feeling. Young children can’t really separate their emotions from their selves, but helping them put a name to their feelings can help them see that how they feel doesn’t define who they are.

What’s more, accepting and talking about your child’s feelings – rather than minimising or denying them – lets them know that there is nothing shameful or unacceptable about emotions. This teaches a child that their emotional life is not dangerous and that even the “less than pleasant” parts of themselves are acceptable – they are perfectly okay to be who they are in their entirety and that emotions are manageable.

Use words to help your child express their feelings, like angry, disappointed, frustrated, shy, hurt. Be sure to highlight positive feelings too, like joy, excitement, and hope. And while it’s okay to have these feelings, screaming and throwing things are not okay.


2. Model Empathy


More often than not, you won’t really be able to do anything about your upset child – they need to get those feelings out. But you can empathise with them. This doesn’t mean that you agree with everything, but rather that you can see things from their perspective as well as your own.


Try approaching it by saying: “You seem very unhappy right now. I’m right here, tell me about it,” then breathe, listen, and try not to solve those difficult emotions for them.


When dealing with emotions, they tend to wash over us and then pass over us – when we teach our children to push their feeling away, we are teaching them to repress them, where they can build up and overwhelm us. Healthy emotional expression starts with experiencing all emotions, and tantrums are actually nature’s way of helping a child get those feelings out.


Through modelling empathy, you help your child feel safe and learn that they can trust their emotions. Over time, they develop healthy emotional processes that help them handle these feelings, rather than repressing them or throwing a tantrum.


4. Display Coping Skills and Problem-solving

Once an emotion is felt and understood, our bodies and psyches let them go. This leaves space for action, and the healthy way to act is through problem-solving.

 Chat through potential solutions with your child but try not to fix things for them. For example: “You felt very lonely when your friend played with someone else. What do you think you could do if that happens again?” This lets your child know that you have confidence in their own ability to handle things and leaves them feeling empowered.


Shifting gears and finding constructive solutions takes practice, so your role in modelling problem-solving and coping skills is vital. Our children need to be shown how to express their feelings and needs without attacking others.


 5. Play It Out


Give your child opportunities to work through feelings and find solutions to challenges in a safe space. Try playing things out – use toy cars or dolls to role-play difficult situations and then talk about the feelings and actions to be taken with your child. For example: “Becky is very cross with her friend, who took her toy without asking. What should she do now?”


You could also create a “quiet corner” for your child, somewhere they can go to when they’re feeling overwhelmed by life and feelings. Place a box of calming tools here – items with sensory input work well, such as textured fabrics, scented aromatherapy play dough, soft toys, bubble wrap, a stress ball or fidget spinner, liquid motion bubbler or glitter jar, even a feelings poster.


Books are also a great resource to help you talk about emotions and develop emotional intelligence.

Our children are always going to be faced with challenges – that’s a part of life. The key in helping your child develop emotional intelligence is to make it a daily habit, having ongoing conversations about their and your feelings and how to deal with them. After all, mistakes and problems are never failures, but rather opportunities to learn how to deal with things. With time and practice, your child will develop the emotional intelligence and mental resiliency to face life’s everyday stresses and succeed.


Read more parenting advice articles here.


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Why the Grade 9 Subject Choice Process is Important The transition from Grade 9 to Grade 10 is a pivotal moment in a South African student’s academic journey. It is during this stage that learners make subject choices that will shape their future career paths and academic trajectories. While Grade 9 students may not yet have a clear vision of their long-term aspirations, understanding the significance of subject selection can help them make informed and strategic decisions. Why Can You Choose Your Subjects in Grade 9? The South African education system allows students to select subjects in Grade 9 to create a pathway that aligns with their interests, strengths, and potential career aspirations. Up until Grade 9, learners follow a generalised curriculum, but from Grade 10 onwards, they start specialising in subjects that will ultimately contribute to their National Senior Certificate (NSC) qualification. The flexibility in choosing subjects is designed to help students focus on areas where they excel and enjoy learning, making their high school experience more meaningful and productive (Department of Basic Education, 2023). The Department of Basic Education highlights that subject choices at this stage have a significant impact on future academic and career pathways. Selecting the right combination of subjects can determine access to university programmes, technical and vocational training, or specialised fields (Department of Basic Education, 2023). Schools, including Crawford International, provide structured subject selection guidance to ensure students and parents understand the weight of these decisions. Why Does Subject Choice Matter? Subject selection has a long-term impact on a student’s educational and professional opportunities. The subjects chosen in Grade 9 will determine the courses available to them in tertiary education and the careers they can pursue. They influence eligibility for specific tertiary education programmes and career fields (South African Qualifications Authority, 2022). Choosing subjects without considering their future implications may limit university and career options, creating unnecessary challenges later on. For example, selecting Mathematics Literacy instead of Pure Mathematics can restrict access to certain degree programmes, particularly in fields like engineering, medicine, and actuarial sciences. Furthermore, making well-informed subject choices can enhance academic performance and motivation. When students select subjects that align with their strengths and interests, they are more likely to remain engaged and perform well. Conversely, poor choices may lead to struggles in comprehension and lower overall academic achievement. What are the Compulsory Subjects? In South Africa, the Department of Basic Education mandates that all students take a set of compulsory subjects to ensure they receive a well-rounded education. These include: Home Language (e.g., English, IsiZulu or Afrikaans, etc.) First Additional Language – (another South African language) Mathematics or Mathematical Literacy – Pure Mathematics is required for careers in science, engineering, and technology, while Mathematical Literacy is an option for students who do not require advanced mathematical skills in their future careers. Life Orientation – This subject focuses on personal development, career guidance, and physical well-being, preparing students for life beyond school. · One additional subject, such as Life Sciences or Business Studies, depending on school requirements (Department of Basic Education, 2023). What are the Elective Subjects? Beyond compulsory subjects, students can select additional subjects based on their interests and future aspirations. Some common elective options in South African schools include: Business Studies – Ideal for students interested in commerce, entrepreneurship, and economic principles. Accounting – Suitable for those considering careers in finance, banking, or auditing. History and Geography – Subjects that develop critical thinking and research skills. Information Technology and Computer Applications Technology (CAT ) – Important for careers in technology, programming, and digital communication. Visual Arts and Drama – For students with an interest in the creative arts and media industries. Each school may offer different elective subjects, and it is crucial for students to research their options and understand the requirements for their intended career path. How Does Subject Choice Impact Career Aspirations? Subject selection plays a fundamental role in shaping future career opportunities. Many universities and technical institutions have specific entry requirements that dictate the subjects a student must have taken in high school. For instance: Medical and Health Sciences: Require Physical Sciences, Life Sciences, and Pure Mathematics. Engineering and Technology Fields: Require Pure Mathematics and Physical Sciences. Law and Humanities: Prefer History and English at a high level. Business and Finance Careers: Benefit from Accounting, Economics, and Business Studies. In the South African job market, demand for STEM-related careers continues to grow, with fields like engineering, data science, and healthcare requiring Mathematics and Physical Sciences (Maharaj, 2020). Meanwhile, the creative economy offers opportunities in digital marketing, graphic design, and content creation, where subjects like Visual Arts and Information Technology play a crucial role (University of Cape Town, 2021). In addition to academic requirements, subject choices can also develop key skills that are valuable in the workplace. Critical thinking, problem-solving, and analytical skills are nurtured through subjects like Mathematics and Science, while creativity and communication skills are honed through subjects like Visual Arts and English. Making Informed Decisions. Grade 9 students should approach subject selection with careful consideration and seek guidance from teachers, parents, and career advisors. Schools like Crawford International provide career guidance programmes to help students make educated decisions. Career assessment tools, aptitude tests, and consultations with professionals can offer insights into suitable subject combinations based on individual strengths and interests. Additionally, students should think about their personal learning preferences and long-term satisfaction. Choosing subjects simply because they are perceived as ‘easy’ or because peers are taking them may lead to disengagement and regret in later years. Instead, selecting subjects based on passion and aptitude will result in a more fulfilling academic experience. The Grade 9 subject choice process is a crucial milestone in every South African student’s educational journey. Thoughtful subject selection can open doors to exciting career prospects, while uninformed decisions may limit future opportunities. By understanding the importance of this decision and seeking the necessary support, students can confidently navigate this process and set themselves up for success in high school and beyond.
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Various theories categorise personality into different types; one of the most widely recognised is Carl Jung’s theory, which forms the basis for the popular Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) (Brown, 2018). While adult personality assessments are well-developed, children’s personalities emerge gradually, influenced by genetic factors, environmental experiences, and social interactions (Smith & Taylor, 2020). In South Africa, many schools incorporate personality-based learning approaches to accommodate diverse student needs, particularly in environments that embrace multiple languages and cultural backgrounds. Signs of Different Personality Types in Children Children display unique behaviours that can indicate their personality type. Some common personality distinctions include: Introverted vs Extroverted: Some children thrive in social settings and seek external stimulation, while others prefer solitude and engage in deep, independent thinking (Johnson, 2019). Logical vs Emotional: Certain children make decisions based on logic and rules, whereas others are more intuitive and empathetic, often prioritising emotions in their interactions (Morris, 2017). This is evident in South African schools, where subjects like Life Orientation encourage both structured reasoning and emotional intelligence. Structured vs Flexible: Organised children prefer routine and predictability, while flexible children adapt easily to new situations and enjoy spontaneity (Lee & Patterson, 2021). In South Africa’s evolving educational landscape, schools that incorporate inquiry-based learning, such as Crawford International, ensure that both structured and adaptable students thrive. Methods for Determining Personality Types Identifying a child’s personality type requires observation, reflection, and sometimes professional assessment. 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