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March 10, 2023
Think about it. Self-discipline boils down to making positive, healthy decisions when it comes to money, nutrition, exercise, self-care and hygiene, work, even relationships and peer pressure. It’s all about being able to control yourself and resisting impulsiveness and instant gratification by keeping to one’s commitments and goals.
Far from something you’re either born with or not, self-discipline is something you can instil in your child – and from a young age too. At the core of self-discipline is the idea that doing the right thing means doing it even when no one is watching you do it. What’s more, self-discipline for kids is important because it goes beyond mere good behaviour. It’s about your kids making good choices regardless of how they feel about something.
Without self-discipline, a 10-year-old could be spending their days at school playing with their stationery instead of engaging in the lesson, or a 16-year-old lights up the cigarette the cool kid hands them. But with self-discipline, that 10-year-old sits down to do the homework after having lunch – without asking, and that 16-year-old refuses to let their friend cheat off them during a test.
Because learning self-discipline is about learning self-control, it can be a difficult skill to foster in your child. But it’s vital. Remember that it’s not about controlling your child’s behaviour, but about your child learning how to control themselves. This isn’t something that’s going to happen overnight; it’s a process that takes years and you should always keep your child’s age and abilities into consideration.
Daily routines and habits not only help your child feel secure in your relationship and home, but studies have shown they also help instil self-discipline. Because your child knows what happens at what time, the routines become a habit that your child does automatically. Your child is less likely to get distracted by other activities when following established routines.
Because self-discipline is about making good decisions, knowing the reason for a rule helps your child understand the purpose of rules. And that purpose is that rules and laws help to keep us all safe in some way. For example, “You do homework every day to practise the things you learn at school and to help you remember it all,” rather than, “I’m doing my homework because Mom said I must.”
Kids thrive on positive attention and tend to repeat good behaviours when being praised for them – even teenagers. So when you see your child doing something you’d like them to do more of, point it out. “Great job sharing your toys with your brother,” makes a child feel much better than saying, “Why can’t you two just share?”
As your child grows older, you could reward self-discipline and good behaviours with privileges. If your tween gets themselves dressed for school and their lunch packed before it’s time to leave (without your help or any reminders), then they get to stay up half an hour later at bedtime, for example.
Be self-disciplined yourself Kids do as they see, so try to be self-disciplined yourself. If your child sees watching TV instead of making the bed, they’ll learn that it’s okay to give in to impulses. They’ll pick up on your own levels of self-discipline, so try to work on this yourself.
Find more helpful parenting Crawford International blog articles here.