How to teach kids to have good manners
March 24, 2023
Why manners matter at every age, plus ‘manners’ tips you can teach your kids.
Minding Ps and Qs can boost a child’s independence, self-esteem and confidence. However, teaching your child how to mind their Ps and Qs can be a bit of a challenge. Here are some helpful tips.
Why are manners important?
They’re not just a way to be polite, manners actually have some real-world benefits that your child can enjoy throughout their lives.
- They show people respect, which in turn earns respect.
- They show appreciation, thoughtfulness, and gratitude, which are important in an age of entitlement.
- They are noticed and appreciated regardless of age, gender, or race – manners create common ground when facing barriers or differences.
- They aid in effective and assertive communication.
- They affect how others perceive us.
- They play a big role in our relationships with others – not only friends, family, teachers, and peers, but also in the workplace and other formal settings.
- They help to maintain fairness and empathy in relationships.
- Using manners also demonstrates mindfulness, something as small as holding the door open for someone as they enter keeps you in the moment and engaging in the present.
Age-by-age manners to focus on
Much like walking, riding a bike, and reading, learning good manners is something that can and should happen from a young age. Like so many of the things we teach our children, they learn their biggest lessons in manners by watching you, so make sure you’re modelling good manners in your own interactions and everyday life.
It’s also important to keep your child’s age, capabilities and emotional development in mind. This empowers you to successfully teach them manners at every stage of life.
One to Two years - Your child is still too young to understand the whys of wrong and right, but they do imitate the behaviours that they see. Now is the ideal time to introduce “the magic words”, which include, “please,” “thank you,” “I’m sorry,” “Excuse me,” and “May I.”
You could roleplay with their stuffed animals or cars by creating situations where these manners are required. For example, “I’m sorry I bumped your car,” or, “Please pass me the blue book, Teddy Bear.”
You could also introduce the very basic concepts of table manners, but try not to get too focused on this. They are too young to learn table manners, but you can start teaching them that burping is rude and requires a, “I’m sorry.”
Also teach your child to give you their plate or cup when they are finished so that they start learning to clear up after a meal.
Three to Seven years - In the preschool and early school years, your child is starting to understand what values and manners are, and that their actions have consequences. So it’s a good idea to focus on manners that are about respect and how we treat others, such as greeting people politely when we see them, how to share and take turns, cleaning up after themselves, basic hygiene, and listening/not interrupting. Here are some strategies for this:
- Talk about the importance of sharing. Tell your child that the reason why we share with others is that it gives us more – we get to play with more things, enjoy more time with our friends, to learn more and understand more. Explore this through roleplaying with their toys or by reading books on the subject.
- Encourage your child to share and take turns with you, their siblings, and friends at playdates and social gatherings.
- Make it very clear that we keep our hands to ourselves – no hitting or pinching. The same goes for name calling.
- Practise saying hello to people and what to call them. This is really a decision to make as a parent, but an example would be to call grownups Mr or Mrs (or as many South Africans do Aunty So-and-so or Uncle so-and-so). Talk about what to do when greeting someone – a simple wave while you speak or a handshake, for instance. Then it’s also important to talk through what to do when people want a hug or kiss – teach your child that it’s okay to wave or shake hands while saying hello, but it's not okay to just ignore the person. Use their toys and stuffed animals to practice these scenarios a bit.
- Picking up after themselves is a way to respect not just themselves but their things (and others’ things). So, after playtime it’s time to pick up their toys, dirty clothes, and books and put them away. This is also important to do at parties or playdates.
- Saying goodbye respectfully is also important. Teach your child that they have to say goodbye and thank you as a way to show the person how much fun you have with them.
You could also grow their understanding of table manners at this stage. For example, using utensils, not talking with their mouth full of food, passing something rather than leaning over the table, and even helping to set the table with you or helping to clear the table after meals.
Seven to Ten years - This is where children develop a strong sense of fairness and start understanding the importance of rules and boundaries. Now is the time to teach them manners around respect and gratitude.
- Being a good sport is a vital lesson as it’s all about playing by the rules to ensure fairness, while also showing respect to yourself, your team mates, and your opponents. Huge life lessons that will help in their friendships and relationships. So, teach your child to give everyone on their team the chance to shine and do well – especially those younger than him. Explain good sportsmanship and what you expect from him in this matter – congratulating others on their wins, acknowledging everyone’s effort, thanking them for the opportunity to play, and learning from your mistakes.
- Respecting other peoples’ space and belongings are more lifelong lessons. Talk to your child about why privacy, ownership and boundaries are important – both for them and for others. Then teach them to always ask before she touches or takes things, even when they’re yours. They should also knock and wait for permission to enter before opening a closed door. It’s also a good idea to give them a chance to create some boundaries by putting up signs for their bedroom door so they know it’s their own space.
- Lessons in graciousness continue here too. Showing gratitude is always important, and you can show your child how to write thank you notes or messages to send to friends after parties or playdates. You could also write your child notes of appreciation and pop them in the lunchbox to model this behaviour.
Eleven to Thirteen years - Independent social lives start blossoming and so it’s a good time to teach your child the importance of being a good guest, which will help create and maintain positive and healthy relationships (with boundaries) as they grow. Your child may start going to friends’ houses without your attendance and supervision, and parties and social outings also start about now.
- Firstly, the rules of their own home are at play, as well as the rules of their hosts. This comes down to respecting others.
- They should use their best table manners, speak politely, and use their assertive communication skills.
- This also means that they clean up after themselves.
- Eye rolling, swearing, and other rude behaviour are a no-no, with consequences.
- They should not overstay their welcome, so chat to the host parents about when they should be picked up. Let your child know that they need to say goodbye and thank the hosts when leaving.
Fourteen to Eighteen years - Teens are able to make decisions for themselves based on the values they’ve been raised with, as well as what makes the most sense for themselves and, often, the people around them. This is prime time to reinforce lessons and manners that focus on respecting themselves and other adults – no blowing you off.
- Mutual respect is important. Practise active listening – listen to them and expect them to listen to you in return.
- Being on time for classes, appointments and plans is a way of showing respect, so don’t be late.
- Help others, and especially older people. Volunteering through your church or other charitable organisation close to home is a great way to gain perspective and grow empathy.
- Give them time for privacy – they’re carving out their unique identities and finding out what they want to be and do in the world. But set boundaries for together time, which requires full attention away from social media, music, and friends. Again, this is about respecting each member of the family and showing love and care to strengthen relationships.
Read more helpful Crawford International parenting articles here.
Southdowns College to become Crawford International Southdowns Southdowns College will become Crawford International Southdowns from 1 January 2027 , bringing together two education names with a shared commitment to academic excellence, student development and future-focused learning. Southdowns College has built a strong reputation in Centurion for academic performance, a high-expectation learning environment, and a school culture that encourages students to grow in confidence, discipline, and purpose. The school’s Class of 2025 achieved a 100% pass rate, a 96.33% Bachelor’s Degree pass rate and 182 distinctions. Crawford International is recognised for nurturing students who are academically prepared, globally aware and confident in their ability to contribute beyond school. The Crawford International Class of 2025 achieved 1,428 distinctions across the group, averaging 2.7 per candidate. The move to Crawford International Southdowns strengthens the school’s value proposition by combining Southdowns’ established academic culture and community roots with Crawford International’s global outlook, future-focused learning approach, and leadership development focus. Students will continue to follow the IEB curriculum, supported by the same teaching teams and school leadership. The transition will be phased to ensure continuity for students, families, and staff, while gradually introducing the Crawford International identity on campus. Crawford International Southdowns will continue to serve families in Centurion with a strong academic offering, a commitment to holistic student development and a clear focus on preparing students for life beyond school.
Parent-teacher meetings are among the most valuable opportunities to support your child's education. They offer insight into academic progress, classroom behaviour, social development, and overall wellbeing. Yet many parents arrive without a clear idea of what they want to ask, leaving the conversation feeling rushed or incomplete. Preparing a few thoughtful questions beforehand can help you gain a clearer understanding of your child's strengths, challenges, and next steps. This guide expands on our previous advice and shares 12 practical questions every parent should consider asking before their next parent-teacher meeting. Why Preparation Makes All the Difference The most productive parent-teacher meetings are conversations, not one-way updates. While teachers provide valuable insight into your child's experience at school, parents offer equally important perspectives from home. Taking a few minutes to prepare beforehand helps you guide the discussion towards the areas that matter most. Writing your questions down ensures nothing is forgotten, even if time is limited. If you're new to school life, you may also find a guide for first-time school parents helpful as you navigate your child's educational journey. Before the Meeting: What to Do at Home Review your child's most recent report, assessments, or feedback. Think about any recent changes in their mood, confidence, or attitude towards school. Ask your child if there is anything they would like you to discuss with their teacher. Write your questions down before the meeting. Remember that meeting times are often short, so focus on the topics that matter most. 12 Questions Every Parent Should Ask at a Parent-Teacher Meeting The following questions can help guide a meaningful conversation and leave you with practical next steps to support your child's success. Academic Progress and Performance 1. Is my child working at the expected level for their age and grade? This provides an overall picture of academic progress. Listen for whether your child is meeting, exceeding, or working towards expected outcomes. 2. Which subjects are they strongest in, and where do they need the most support? Understanding both strengths and challenges allows you to encourage continued growth while supporting areas that need additional attention. 3. How does my child approach assessments? Do they prepare well and manage pressure? Success is influenced by more than knowledge alone. Ask about preparation, organisation, confidence, and how your child responds during assessments. 4. Are there any gaps in foundational skills that could affect future learning? Small gaps can become bigger challenges over time. Identifying them early allows parents and teachers to work together before they impact future progress. Behaviour, Effort, and Classroom Engagement 5. How does my child participate during lessons? Find out whether they ask questions, contribute to discussions, remain focused, and engage confidently with classroom activities. 6. Are there any behavioural patterns I should know about? Teachers may notice behaviours that are different from those seen at home. Understanding both positive habits and areas for improvement creates a fuller picture. 7. How does my child respond to feedback or correction? Learning how your child accepts guidance helps build resilience and a positive attitude towards continuous improvement. 8. Does my child persevere when work becomes challenging? Resilience is an important life skill. Ask whether your child keeps trying when tasks become difficult or tends to give up too quickly. Social Wellbeing and Relationships Social wellbeing plays a significant role in both emotional health and academic success. 9. How does my child interact with their peers? Ask whether they have positive friendships, collaborate well with classmates, and feel included within the classroom community. 10. Have you noticed any signs of social difficulty, conflict, or exclusion? Early conversations about friendship challenges can help address concerns before they affect your child's confidence or learning experience. Support, Next Steps, and How Parents Can Help 11. What is one thing I can do at home to support my child right now? Teachers often have simple, practical suggestions that can make a meaningful difference between school and home. 12. If my child needs additional academic or emotional support, what does that process look like? Understanding the school's support structures ensures you know what help is available if needed. Learn more about Crawford's approach to academic support and how we help every student reach their potential. What to Do After the Meeting Once the meeting is over: Write down the key discussion points while they are still fresh. Share the feedback with your child in an encouraging and age-appropriate way. Follow up with the teacher if any questions remain unanswered. Arrange another check-in if ongoing support or monitoring is needed. Remember that a parent-teacher meeting is the start of an ongoing conversation, not the end of one. Making the Most of Your School Partnership Strong partnerships between home and school are built through consistent communication, shared goals, and mutual trust. Parent-teacher meetings are just one opportunity to work together in supporting your child's development. Staying engaged throughout the year helps create the best possible learning experience. If you're exploring educational options, our guide to choosing the right school offers practical advice on what to look for when selecting a private school. Key Takeaways Preparation helps you make the most of every parent-teacher meeting. Arriving with written questions leads to more focused, meaningful conversations. The most valuable discussions cover academic progress, classroom engagement, behaviour, social wellbeing, and next steps. Parent-teacher meetings work best when they result in practical actions both at school and at home. Engaged, informed parents play one of the most important roles in supporting a child's long-term educational success.
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When Leah Mari matriculated from Crawford International La Lucia College in 2019, she already had a passion for music, performance and storytelling. Today, she is one of South Africa's most exciting young performers, building an impressive career across musical theatre, film and music. A graduate of the Luitingh Alexander Musical Theatre Academy (LAMTA) in Cape Town, Leah has quickly earned recognition for her talent and dedication. Following her graduation at the academy, she received a nomination for the Fleur du Cap Theatre Award for Most Promising Student in 2024, highlighting her emergence as a rising star in the performing arts industry. Born and raised in Durban, Leah's creative journey began long before she stepped onto professional stages. A singer, pianist and emerging composer, she recorded her first EP whilst doing Grade 9 in 2016 and was a member and soloist of the KwaZulu-Natal Youth Choir. In 2019, she was awarded the prestigious DALRO ACT Scholarship, further supporting her pursuit of a career in the arts. In 2021, Leah was one of two winners of the national Cabaret and Beyond Songwriting Festival. The achievement led to the creation of her original one-act musical, Call Me A Fool, which was produced in association with The Centre for Creative Arts and staged in both Gqeberha and Durban in 2022 under the direction of Steven Stead. A second production followed later that year in collaboration with LAMTA. During her studies, Leah performed in a number of theatre and musical theatre productions at Theatre on the Bay and Pieter Toerien's Montecasino Theatre. Her credits included roles in Mephisto, The Seagull and Cosi, as well as several original South African productions including All Together Now, Come Together and Being Steve. Leah made her professional debut as the alternate Maria in Pieter Toerien and Cape Town Opera's production of The Sound of Music in 2023 and 2024. She followed this with a role in the South African premiere of Stephen Sondheim's Company in 2024. Her breakthrough came when she was cast as Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady. Her acclaimed performance earned her both a Fleur du Cap Theatre Award and a Naledi Theatre Award for Best Performance by a Lead Actress in a Musical, cementing her place as one of the country's leading young musical theatre performers. In 2025, Leah expanded her career into film, making her feature film debut as Meera in Lucky Fish. She also appeared in several short films, including Gangsters Tea and At Horizon's End, showcasing her versatility as a performer across different mediums. Most recently, audiences have seen Leah on stage in Chicago: The Musical and Pretty Woman: The Musical. It has also been announced that she will take on the role of Sophie Sheridan in the highly anticipated return of MAMMA MIA!, adding another iconic character to her growing list of achievements. Leah’s journey from Crawford International La Lucia College to award-winning performer highlights how Crawford empowers global leaders to thrive on the world stage. Her success continues to inspire current Crawford students to pursue their ambitions with confidence and creativity. As her career continues to flourish on stages and screens locally and internationally, Leah remains a shining example of what can be achieved when talent is nurtured and dreams are pursued with determination.
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25 years of science, curiosity and community Fromplant physiology to the physics classroom, a career built on wonder. From the laboratory to the classroom After completing a master’s degree in Plant Physiology and Biochemistry from the University of KwaZulu Natal in 1990, a six-month lecturing stint quickly gave way to an unexpected opportunity: Ms Visser, a locum teaching position at George Campbell Technical High School. It turned out to be a defining moment. Recognising that teaching was a true calling, a Diploma in Higher Education from UNISA followed in 1995, formalising a commitment to the profession. A family connection to Crawford International La Lucia January 2000 marked the beginning of an extraordinary chapter at Crawford International La Lucia, joining the school the same month that the oldest of two sons started Grade 000. Both boys went on to complete their full 15 years of schooling at the school, a journey their father witnessed firsthand from the other side of the classroom. “Both our sons completed 15 years of schooling at Crawford International La Lucia, and they are truly grateful for the opportunity to have attended this incredible school.” Subjects and philosophy Over the years, Physical Sciences, Life Sciences, Technology and Further Studies Physics have all featured in her timetable. Across every subject, the goal has remained constant: to develop independent thinkers and well-balanced individuals with a natural curiosity and wonder for the world around them. What makes Crawford International La Lucia special The classroom has been the source of some of the happiest memories, with the energy students bring, their genuine interest, and their willingness to contribute meaningfully to every lesson. Equally treasured are the colleagues encountered along the way: dedicated, talented professionals whom it has been a privilege to work alongside, many of whom have become lasting friends. She says, “I love the energy and interest that our students display and their willingness to contribute meaningfully to lessons.” Looking back on more than two decades at Crawford International La Lucia, the years have been fun-filled, busy and deeply rewarding, a proud part of the school’s history. Fun Facts At Crawford International La Lucia since: January 2000 Qualifications: MSc Plant Physiology & Biochemistry (UKZN), Diploma in Higher Education (UNISA) Subjects taught: Physical Sciences, Life Sciences, Technology, Further Studies Physics Teaching philosophy: Independent thinkers with a natural curiosity for the world
When Rafie Mehrji Manshadi walked out of Crawford International College Sandton in 2018 with seven distinctions and his Student Prefect badge, he had no conventional road map for what came next. Today, he is a certified AI specialist, enterprise consultant, and co-founder of Angel Enterprise - a multi-division business ecosystem spanning AI consulting, creative design, hospitality, promotions, and education. His journey has been anything but linear. After matriculating at Crawford, Rafie pursued a Bachelor of Optometry at the University of Johannesburg, completing his degree in 2023. But throughout those four years, one thing never left him: a deep fascination with technology and artificial intelligence. Where others saw a completed degree as a destination, Rafie saw a crossroads. He made the bold decision to step away from optometry entirely and pursue the field that had always captivated him most. "It was a challenge to deal with the fact that I spent four years studying and then completely changed direction," he reflects. "But I was never happy with the conventional path - study, get a degree, get a job. I knew I didn't want to be an employee. I wanted to build something." And build he did. At the heart of Angel Enterprise sits Angel Intelligence, Rafie's primary focus - helping organisations move from AI experimentation to genuine, measurable impact through consulting, workflow automation, and AI system engineering. Beyond that, the broader ecosystem delivers branding, hospitality staffing, promotional services, and structured AI education programmes, all operating under one cohesive vision. Holding certifications from the Dubai Centre for AI, IBM, Anthropic, and Yale University, Rafie brings rare technical depth to a field reshaping every industry. His Crawford years, he says, gave him something no curriculum can fully teach. "Crawford showed me how to be myself - and that if I don't see a path for me, I should create my own." That instinct - to build rather than follow - is precisely what Crawford has always nurtured. And in Rafie Mehrji Manshadi, Sandton College has an alumnus who embodies it completely.
With 15 years at Crawford International Sandton Pre-Primary and a career dedicated to supporting young students who need a little extra encouragement, Ms Goldberg brings patience and deep professional expertise to her role as a Learning Support Teacher. For the children in her care, her classroom is a place where it is safe to try and safe to grow. The Road to Teaching Ms Goldberg has spent her entire teaching career at Crawford International Sandton, where she has built a reputation as a trusted and deeply committed member of the learning support team. Over 15 years, she has worked closely with Grade 0 students, focusing on small-group intervention that meets children where they are and gently guides them forward. Her passion for supporting students who find certain areas of learning more challenging has been a consistent thread throughout her time at Crawford, shaping both her approach in the classroom and the relationships she builds with the children and families she serves. Qualifications and Expertise Ms Goldberg's qualifications focus on early childhood and inclusive education. She holds a Higher Diploma in Pre-Primary and Junior Primary Education, which laid a strong foundation in understanding how young children develop and learn. She furthered her expertise with a B. Ed Honours degree in Learning Support, equipping her with the specialist knowledge required to identify and address the diverse needs of students in the foundation phase. This combination of early years training and focused learning support expertise has proven to be one of her uniqueness in the classroom, providing targeted intervention for the youngest members of our Crawford community. Teaching Philosophy At the core of Ms Goldberg's practice is a belief that every child is capable, plus that the environment in which they learn makes all the difference. She is guided by patience and a deep respect for the fact that no two children learn in exactly the same way. Creating a space where students feel genuinely safe, safe enough to take risks, make mistakes and keep going, is not incidental to her teaching. It is the foundation of it. For Ms Goldberg, building academic skills and building self-belief are not separate goals. They grow together, and both deserve equal attention and care. "My teaching philosophy is centred on patience, encouragement and understanding that every child learns differently. I believe in creating a safe and supportive environment where students feel confident to try, make mistakes and grow. My goal is to help each child build both their skills and their self-belief." What Ms Goldberg Values About Crawford For Ms Goldberg, Crawford International Sandton is more than a place of work. It is a community she has been part of for over a decade and a half. "My colleagues are like family, and we share a very close and supportive environment. Being part of such a strong team makes my work even more meaningful." This sense of belonging and shared purpose is something she carries into her classroom, creating the same spirit of care and mutual support for the students in her groups that she herself experiences among her peers. Beyond the Classroom Outside of school, Ms Goldberg is a proud mom to three teenage boys, a full and lively household by any measure. She finds balance and energy through regular gym sessions, long walks with her dogs and a well-deserved cup of coffee. These small, grounding rituals reminds us of the same intentionality and warmth she brings to her professional life. Quick Facts: 15 years at Crawford International Sandton Role: Learning Support Teacher, Grade 0 (small group intervention) Qualifications: Higher Diploma in Pre-Primary and Junior Primary Education and B.Ed Honours in Learning Support Passionate about building confidence and self-belief in young students Mom to three teenage boys Enjoys coffee, the gym and walking her dogs
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Meet Natasha Pillay: Nurturing Potential at Crawford International Fourways With nearly three decades in education and 14 years at Crawford International, Ms Pillay brings a unique blend of academic rigour, lived experience and heartfelt purpose to every classroom. Guided by a belief that every child can thrive when they feel truly valued, she continues to inspire students through inclusion and genuine care. The Road to Teaching Ms Pillay's teaching career spanning close to 30 years began in 1998 with the KwaZulu-Natal Department of Education, before extending internationally with a stint in the United Kingdom. This breadth of experience has shaped a grounded, versatile approach to education that draws on both local and global perspectives. The foundation was laid at Springfield Teaching College, where a first-principles approach to teaching was instilled, one that continues to inform her classroom practice today. Since joining Crawford International on 28 May 2012, Ms Pillay has become a trusted and valued member of the community, approaching the end of her 14th year at the school. Qualifications and Subjects Taught A commitment to lifelong learning is evident in Ms Pillay's impressive academic record. Alongside the foundational diploma from Springfield Teaching College, her qualifications include a B Comm degree majoring in Financial Management, completed in 2006, and a B Ed Honours degree majoring in Inclusive Education, completed in 2012. The focus on inclusive education speaks directly to a deeply held belief in the right of every student to access meaningful, supportive learning. Teaching Philosophy At the heart of Ms Pillay's approach is a simple but powerful conviction: that every child can reach their full potential when they feel supported and valued. "I aim to create a safe, inclusive space where students feel confident to take risks and explore new concepts. Seeing my students grow, take initiative and discover their strengths motivates me every day as a teacher." This philosophy is not merely aspirational. It is lived out in the daily rhythms of the classroom, where safety is treated as a prerequisite for academic growth and where each student is encouraged to believe in their own ability. What Ms Pillay Values About Teaching at Crawford The curiosity and unique perspectives of Crawford's students are what make each day inspiring. Whether asking unexpected questions, approaching problems from fresh angles, or challenging themselves to grow, these students bring energy and authenticity to the learning environment. Working within the framework of the IB philosophy has deepened Ms Pillay's own practice as a teacher and reinforced a commitment to continued learning alongside her students. Crawford International is seen not simply as a place of employment, but as a community of shared values and shared growth. Beyond the Classroom Outside of school, Ms Pillay finds joy in cooking hearty meals for a son currently studying Engineering at university. Weekends often include hiking trails at Hennops, where the outdoors offers space for reflection and renewal. In recent years, a personal journey toward greater spiritual awareness has also taken shape, through reading, visiting places of spiritual significance and the practice of meditation. It is a pursuit that speaks to the same values she brings into the classroom each day: intentionality, openness and a desire to keep growing. Quick facts Joined Crawford International on 28 May 2012, completing 14 years at the end of May 2026 Teaching career began in 1998 with the KwaZulu-Natal Department of Education Also taught in the United Kingdom Qualifications: Springfield Teaching College Diploma · B Comm in Financial Management (2006) · B Ed Honours in Inclusive Education (2012) Enjoys hiking at Hennops, cooking and spiritual development through reading and meditation Proud parent of a son studying Engineering at university
